ORFF - How To Focus Your Communications Part 2

Written by Sean M Kelly
on May 17th, 2008 / Leave a Comment / Print this

What does ORFF stand for again? O- objectives; R- Rapport; F - Feedback; F - Flexibility;

So what about rapport? Firstly its highly important to ask yourself - what is rapport and how do you know when you’re in rapport with someone?

Raport is achieved when two people are communicating openly and with ease. When we’re in rapport there is a sense that there is a connection, often subconscious with the other person. How can we achieve this?

The simplest way is to find something in common with the other person - did you work in the same company, have you similar interests, do you live in the same place. This can help create rapport on a conscious level. But what about subconsious?

Again the key thing to remember is having something in common. Think of how the other person is speaking - loud, quiet, slow, fast and what words they are using. Begin to speak in a similar way using similar and the same words - if they use visual words they you use visual words and so on. What you’re aiming to do is have the way your speaking “in common” with the way they’re speaking.

You can also do the same with body language which is called “matching and mirroring“. Adopt similar body language to them, move with similar gestures and facial expressions. So your body language is the “same” as theirs. How do you measure if its working?

By how well the communication goes. This week try the above with someone you had communication challenges with in the past. Be very flexibility to adopt your voice and body language to match theirs. Notice the difference. When done right its truly amazing!

Remember when we’re getting on well with people this is happening anyway. Its not a new invention, its simply a matter of noticing whats going on when we communicate well and using it to help us all communicate better with eachother. Surely this is a good thing!

For more information on this see any good book on Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

In-Joy

Sean