Dork Your Brand!


You’ve got your cool little business, you’ve had some degree of success and you’ve done it all on your own. The only bar you’re interested in raising is the pub down the street. Who needs all those consultants and brand gurus when you can keep your hard-earned beer money and find the cheapest student or cousin to spin your magic.

Well I’m here to make your day and save you tons ‘o dough by giving you ten ways to “DORK YOUR BRAND!”

1) Don’t even think about being consistent with your image. The trick here is to have one logo on your stationary, another variation on your signs and when you do a trade show, something homemade would be outstanding.

2) Brand values – frankly that’s for pansies. Just do what it takes to get the business. View those people you have to walk on to succeed as mere stepping stones. Don’t concern yourself with your reputation.

3) Find the perfect opportunity to blend in with what your competition is doing. If they are doing great then they must be on to something. “More of the same,” I always say to Dorks. You don’t want to risk standing out, you might be discovered for who you really are. There’s probably more money running with the pack anyway.

4) Did you know that you can get a logo designed online for free? That’s right, no need to worry about demographics, first impressions, market share or what ever. Image is for movie stars, your running a bizness. The less things cost – more for you, right?

5) Don’t ask – don’t tell. You’re only looking for trouble asking your stake holders what they think.

6) Are you going to one of them trade shows. Stay away from a professional presentation and get yourself one of those free folding tables and dress it up with blue skirting like all the other dorks. We’re blending in again, that’s the ticket. (Now you’re catching on).

7) And while you’re at the show, and you want to catch a stare or two, don’t waste your cash on relevant materials promoting a unique message – get yourself a booth bunny! Hey sex sells and even if hurts your brand – what’s the harm in a little fun.

8.)Keep dropping your price until you are the lowest price in your bizness. Don’t let nobody beat you.

9) Don’t bother trying to forge relationships with customers. Let’s face it, you’ve probably got enough friends, and besides they’d probably expect you to pick up the tab.

10) When the phone rings, it’s not important how your staff answers it – just be glad it’s ringing. There’s no point wasting friendly on some Nancy just looking for the cheapest deal.

Well that’s the branding game in a nut shell. One thing I can guarantee you is, if you decide to “Dork Your Brand”, you will make one business person very happy…

…that person is your leading competitor.

This article was inspired by SBB commenter Steve, over at Pinnacle Displays, and Nichpreneur Michelle for encouraging us.


  1. WOW Great list of ways to Dork Your Brand. Your really do have great ideas, tips and points. Thanks again.

  2. It was fun to put together Melissa. Thanks.

  3. Thanks for giving ten ways to “DORK YOUR BRAND!”. These points are very interesting. I have learned a lot from this post. Great post. Looking froward for new, creative and informative post from your side. Great work Ed Roach.

  4. Hi Ed,
    Wow, you are a man of your word! (see Ed’s other article “Pimp your Brand”) I hate to admit I have probably been a Dork in the past. I can remember changing logos almost monthly (long ago) because I kept changing my mind… Your points on trade show exhibiting are spot on. I’m always surprised by people that spend the (big) money to go to a show, but then save a bit by having a home-made booth display rather than getting a professional looking trade show display. I don’t mean to knock “home made” – sometimes it works but usually it doesn’t. Excellent article.
    ~ Steve from Pinnacle Trade Show Displays (and self-confessed former Dork)

  5. Know it’s a good post when I learned something and I’m still smiling.

  6. Wow. Was that supposed to be practical advice? While some of them I agreed with, I’m not sure I agree with such imaginative suggestions as “Keep dropping your price until you are the lowest price in your bizness. Don’t let nobody beat you.”

    Trying to be the ‘low-cost leader’ could kill your business. Not sure about you, but I’ve got a family to feed.

  7. Sparky, I think you missed the point of the article. Look up the work “DORK”. This is a tongue-in-check list of things NOT to do, or put another way, that only a DORK would do.

  8. Frankly Sparky, the point is – you’re not supposed to agree with ANY of them. To agree with a few, would damage your brand efforts.

  9. hilarious. 😀 now i only need to get myself a booth bunny…

  10. Great list! Thanks for sharing great tips but I think number 8 and 9 are best ways to dork the brand.

  11. Ha, the first time I heard the term “Booth Bunny”, it was at the Detroit Auto Show. It stuck with me. I suppose if you’ve got nothing else, it’s great eye candy. But honestly there’s always a better way if you try hard enough.

    The sad fact is I remember the booth bunny to this day, BUT I can’t recall what product she was hawking.

    Stephen: #9 is key for me. Over time, it is so rewarding the relationships that are build from a business connection. Many have actually turned into life long friends.

  12. Just stumbled across this post–it’s great! It’s amazing how many people think this way.

  13. Wow thanks for the useful tips !

  14. Glad to be of service XL Robert.

  15. Okay, when I finished reading the post I was smiling….and then when I read Sparky’s reply I was laughing out loud! Great job, Ed and a great read!

  16. Thanks, Nola. I enjoyed writing it. There’s lots of inspiration out there 🙂

  17. JRedd Designs says

    Hilarious, especially some of the comments. Thanks for a good laugh to start my day. Its actually some good advice if you read it from the right perspective.

  18. Jredd, I agree that the comments are more entertaining than my article. I enjoyed this exchange.