How to Miss the Boat on LinkedIn

How to Miss the Boat on LinkedIn

LinkedIn is a rapidly evolving social media platform that appeals more directly to business people than do Facebook and Twitter; specifically, business-to-business (B2B) possibilities. You undoubtedly know that. Most of those folks want to be successful with LinkedIn promotion and generate new leads, business, or career opportunities. What you might not know is how exceptionally you can fail on LinkedIn as a busy entrepreneur or small business owner. It’s easy! Just follow these 10 easy steps.

  1. Leave Your Profile Summary Blank
    This is crucial to failing on LinkedIn. Lots of people want to turn up in People searches, but not a radical like you. Leave that Summary section blank since it is the key area that the LinkedIn search, and Google for that matter, index to learn about your worth. Who wants it? Invisibility rules!
  2. Restrict who can contact you
    People can be completely bothersome, so keep your configurations such that you’ll decrease contact with them. Go to your privacy controls on the Settings tab and pick the most reducing restrictions, like switching off your activity broadcasts (you’re not doing them anyway!), making certain only you can see your activity and networks, and ensuring that you view other profiles anonymously. Victory is yours.
  3. Ignore past work experience
    Fact says that no one is bothered about your past work history anyway, so only write about your ongoing work. Remember the KISS principle, so keep it short and sweet and avoid using unnecessary phrases that these SEO types call ‘keywords’. By uploading just one job, you won’t have to worry about having to both with the monotonous writing of keywords in your former roles either.
  4. Don’t post a photo
    Photos are for models. As an engineer, consultant or other business expert your work speaks for itself and your face ain’t your money-maker, so screw the personal comfort level that people since birth seem to feel when they see a real person’s face behind the computer terminology. This is work, not just socialization!
  5. Ignore References
    These are forged and everyone knows it, so why bother. Who cares if LinkedIn references really link back to the referrer for effortless proof of who’s doing the talking? If I ask other business schmos for references, they’ll just want something back from me, and who has that kind of time?
  6. Be Picky About Connections
    Hold your contacts close to your heart and only have that few of network associations that you currently do business with, that way you can contact any of them with a request and not feel guilty about it. What good can a large number of connections do for you anyway, they’ll just bother you for their little pet projects you have no interest in whatsoever. It’s not as if LinkedIn operates like Google and those connections are like backlinks that enhance your search relevance to get on page 1 when your keywords are– Ouch! No keywords written into our profiles in an user-friendly way.
  7. Don’t show your work
    LinkedIn provides Applications for you to post more info about you, theoretically to differentiate you from other experts. The “idea” is that when people reach your profile, you stand apart by already showing what you flourish at via slide presentations, case studies, video (ah-hem!) et cetera. Poppycock! Just something else to maintain. Why put something up that only 10 or 20 people may read or look at.
  8. Don’t join groups
    Subject matter interest groups abound on LinkedIn, from job search groups to industry verticals. Who has the time to pay attention to a few “professionals” spout off about one theme or another and post links to their websites to develop dialogues. Besides, why should I share my useful knowledge about my market for FREE? I’m not crazy! I get paid to offer expert discourse. Damn straight!
  9. Fill it out and quit it
    The charm of a LinkedIn profile or any site is that once you get it ‘live’, you are done with it for good. The more you change it the more you can upset your search engine ranks, no? That is the perfect slogan for LinkedIn implosion. Don’t you wish you came up with it? Changing things around requires a lot of work on top of it all. Post the dang thing and be finished with it.
  10. SPAM your contacts
    If you’ve got a few contacts, you can make it even less by making regular inquiry or pitches to sell your product or service or go to your website. Connections will leave you faster than if you attempted to eliminate them, because they’ll do it in bulk, so send out a few extremely smarmy emails every week and your LinkedIn demise will be complete.

The reality is, you aren’t striving to fail on LinkedIn. You desire to succeed as well and develop more LinkedIn business leads and use LinkedIn as an authentic advertising tool for your website, but possibly you just don’t know how. If you’re like a lot of business owners, however, and can look at yourself under the microscope and see any of the Top 10 LinkedIn Failure Techniques listed above in your talk or actions, perhaps it’s time to question assumptions and alter your approach. It’s opposite day and this ain’t Seinfeld, so have a look at what NOT to do, and do something else and then notice your LinkedIn stats soar and your phone start to ring.


  1. Great How NOT To!
    The only thing I would add to this list is
    “Lie about your experience”
    “Shock and amaze others with your fantastic work experience. Write that you had worked only in the biggest companies like Google, Facebook Microsoft etc.  That way only the big players will approach you”
    Really good post.

  2. Haha nice additions there Marc81. Thanks for the post, Karl.

  3. I loved the snarkiness of this post, made it fun and entertaining to read! I actually read the entire thing, unlike other articles related to LinkedIn that I gave up around paragraph 3. Thanks Karl for the tips of what not to do, much appreciated!

  4. “Shock and amaze others with your fantastic work experience. Write that you had worked only in the biggest companies like Google, Facebook Microsoft etc

  5. efoghorjos says

    Using LinkedIn without filling out the necessary information is like going to the farm without your machete or going to fish in a rich river but without a hook or net; you would watch others make great catch but there would be nothing for you to make your own catch.
    You certainly need to tell everyone about yourself, your past experiences and what makes you sellable. The world (and the Internet) is a place of stiff competition and those who learn to package themselves well win most of the times.